It's been a while and I know my last post was uber cryptic. I am good. It was never 'end of the world', but all struggles can feel that way at times. Amirite?
After reading Kendra's post, where she talked about the lurkers that suck the self-esteem from good people (my words), I realized why blogging is so hard for me: I really want people to like me. I can take constructive criticism well. When I write fiction, I love getting feedback because I know I can improve. If you're familiar with creative writing you know that revision is a huge, large, giant part of the entire process. And actually, it is sort of my favorite part. But with blogging...I am writing me basically. And while I can improve myself-I am going to do that through the loving guidance of my family & in real life friends. I am a 'fix-it Felix'. If something happens where I need to work on an aspect of my life-I plan it. I brainstorm ways I can track my effort. But if someone just doesn't like my blog or leaves a scathing comment-I can't improve that. I can't make myself not me.
The magazine/literary & arts journal my short story is in has just reached the shelves. I am so thrilled and can't wait to sneak into one of the stores & pretend to be looking at my phone while I take a picture of the display. It's available in a handful of local stores (since it was published by the local college), and while that's not many, I cannot explain how wonderful it feels to know that people, people I don't even know, will read my story and perhaps be touched by it. And that's what I want to do. I started blogging because it is a form of writing (and I love to write) and it's relatively easy to begin. I tried to keep up with it and do the link-ups, but the truth is: I want to write fiction. That is where my writer's heart lays and it's what my personal life dream consists of. I still read all my fav blogs, but I just can't seem to muster up the energy (hello-35 weeks pregnant) to blog & work on my fiction writing. I'm not going to close down this blog, but I won't post regularly. I will post a birth announcement when our little guy arrives (soon, I hope!!!) and I may use this domain to test the waters on some of my stories.
I love all of the bloggers I have gotten to know through this whole thing & I am still with you every step of the way as I read through your lives. If you are dabbling in fiction writing, I would love to hear from you and maybe we could get a group together where we share our work & get feedback.
Email me if so: eheartsg(at)gmail(dot)com
Heart heart hug kiss hug!