We had a super lovely time at a play date with a plethora of kids and the girls had a blast. They are really deprived of unstructured social interaction and it showed in their hungry-for-friends faces. I let them stay later than I normally would because they were just so cute playing and having fun (unlike at home where they are screaming and bored and screaming).
Mom mistake to the trillionth degree.
I told them in the car we'd need to skip bath time because it was just too late and I still wanted them to eat. I made purple oatmeal, because I am the best mom ever, and they barely touched it.
And then the melting down commenced. Gwen is extremely sensitive and Avie knows this and uses it to plot against G. Didn't you know two-year olds plotted? Well, they do, or at least this one does. Gwen was upset about something ridiculous and so Avie, of course, wanted to torment her further by saying "hi" over & over & over. When Gwen is upset/angry/crying/awake she hates when people look/speak/acknowledge her. Avie exploits this like the evil professor she is. Let's just say, everyone was screaming by the end and now my voice is really hoarse.
I finally got both crying girls to lay down (without bedtime stories). I just needed them asleep. As each second ticked by, I could see them being morphed into rabid wolf-babies, instead of the sweet peas they usually are at bedtime (normally, I'd add a HA! or something, but really compared to tonight, their usual bedtime behavior is A++++).
And guess what? As they fell asleep cuddling next to me, I started to feel really bad about how I handled pretty much the whole night (except the purple oatmeal, I stand by the oatmeal). I was tired and cranky too and I seriously lacked in my mommy-ing duties. If I had just approached a few things differently, I think we could have avoided going to sleep amongst tears and hurt feelings.
I especially felt bad because today is the beginning of Lent. So while we are suppose to meditate on the suffering of Jesus, I don't think God wanted me to meditate over my own suffering as my kids' mom. I love my girls and I think I communicated something different than that. I do believe that discipline can be loving (for sure, 100%), but I didn't do that tonight. So all I can do is ask for forgiveness and try again tomorrow.
Happy Ash Wednesday.