I am starting to feel better and I think Gwen is too. I still have a lot I need to do. Like burn about one million tissues and wash everything.
|Gwen sleeping on a giant teddy bear. Cuteness overload.|
A few days ago Ben and I got word on some news we had been waiting on for a while. It went in the direction we hadn't wanted in a truly bizarre TV-movie sort of way and we were way bummed. And THEN, nearly right after that we decided to go ahead on some plans we were waiting on due to said news and we got great news and are really excited/happy/woo-hoo! It really makes me feel like God's timing is perfect. As cheesy as that sounds it's true. We don't know the future, and it's silly for us to think that we could possibly think of ALL the stuff that can/will happen to us in one year or even one month. Why do we always think we can plan it all? I mean sure, we can make some plans and hope for the best, but really, truly we don't know nothing.
The great news is something I feel I can share: We're moving!! Just down the street. We've actually been bunking with my in-laws for about 7 months now since moving back to Washington. We have our own space here, and it's been fun, but we're really ready to move on. I'm so thrilled to say that we found the perfect rental house for us! It's amazing and just what we need right now. We won't get to move in until early April, but we are just full of joy at the prospect of once again making messes in our own home as oppose to someone else's home. Yay!
I've been really trying to get into The Bachelor this season since I loved watching Emily on The Bachelorette, but it's doing nothing for me. I can barely watch, it's just so...I don't even know. I had never seen a Bachelor/Bachelorette show before I watched last year's so maybe I'm just not as invested. I've only watched a couple episodes (why are they SO long!?) and it drives me batty to hear all the girls say, "I'm not here to make friends." Why not? The likelihood of you being The One are quite slim, so why not build some friendships!? Just me? Fine.
Speaking of friendships, I have very little. It is very dang hard to make friends as a stay at home mom. Probably because we freaking stay at home all the time! But whatevs. It seems like whenever I talk to someone else whose moved they talk about the spectacular "community" they've found and how quickly everyone clicked. Um, that doesn't happen to me. I mean, sure I've met some moms and such, but being "the new girl" as an adult is plain torturous. They don't know me or my kids and I don't know them or theirs, so in group settings (which is the only place I've been talking to other moms), I'm not the person people are dying to talk to, if you catch me. They have history with these others moms. After the pleasantries of getting to know me and my girls a bit, they move on. Because really, isn't that easier? It's not two people trying to build friendship because they're both lonely or new or going through something similar, it's just me trying to build friendships. These ladies have friendships. They have the one they call on the phone crying or the one they do play-dates with. They're good, they're set up. And I don't mean to come across as ungrateful, because everyone has been so kind and welcoming. It's just difficult and it bums me out.
But soon we will have a house and that makes me smile; it reminds me that God looks out. He knows. And He's doing His thing. There's no need to worry.